She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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