Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
