Non-Jews are for practice
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
