woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
