69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
