I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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