if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Randomize
