Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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