I'm going to jail i love you
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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