you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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