I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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