it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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