you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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