dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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