I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
