he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
