you guys were way drunker than both of me
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
And then my night got REAL pukey
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Randomize
