Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize