Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
