Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
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Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
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wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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