I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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