but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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