The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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