I got chris browned last night
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
