I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
