White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
