Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
