I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Randomize
