Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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