I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
so let's talk penis.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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