one word: firstdatebathroomanal
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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