The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
