2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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