It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
