is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
