My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He shit in the fireplace
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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