your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
