I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
