I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize