I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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