Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
