I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
