There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
