Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
