So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
