I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
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I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
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After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize