It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
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I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
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So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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