We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Randomize
