Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
