I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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