Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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