Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
