kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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