I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
