Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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