Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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