The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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