Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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