can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
