in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
