his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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