I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
