My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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