Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool

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(718): View more from New York

They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule

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(219): View more from Indiana

My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?

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(612): View more from Minnesota

you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier

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(678): View more from Georgia

Someone shattered a urinal.

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(541): View more from Oregon

You would be my first round pick for a drinking team

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(770): View more from Georgia

There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.

(404): View more from Georgia

My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.

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(618): View more from Illinois

I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid

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