Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
