I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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