Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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