So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
