before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
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