Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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