you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
this will be a night to untag.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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